How To Be More Confident
Whether you’re looking on how to be more confident when it comes to the opposite sex, in the bedroom or just being confident in general for yourself, just like anything else, it takes work.
Being confident isn’t something you just wake up and tell yourself “I am officially confident today!” It takes time and practice from your decisions, your actions and your thoughts.
How you know whether you hit that point of confidence is when you don’t have to tell yourself, you just know and others know as well just off your body language.
With that said, here are some ways to work on how to be more confident.
How To Be More Confident
Separate Your Thoughts From Reality
They say we have tens of thousands of thoughts, on average, each day, and at least 80 or 90 percent of them are negative. Your brain works in this way as a survival mechanism so you can think about potential consequences.
For instance, if you know putting your hand in fire will burn and hurt you, you won’t do it. But your brain will let you know the negative impact from it.
These negative thoughts are often things you worry about or fear. Just remember, they are thoughts and not your reality. If you can separate the two, then it’ll help so much when it comes to your confidence.
Stop Caring What Others Think Of you (Especially People You Don’t Know)
Are you always wondering what people think of you? Do you say things like “you think they liked me?” Well, let that all go. The more you care about what others think of you, especially strangers, the more it’s going to eat at your confidence and ultimately it’s going to put you at the mercy of others.
Change your mindset. Instead of thinking “do you think they will like me?”, change it to “will I like them?” You don’t want to think about what others think of you or it’ll make you second guess your own thoughts, decisions and actions.
Not caring what others think of you will free you from the control of them and let you be who you want to be as a confident person.
Although this goes hand and hand with stop caring what others think of you, I had to make a separate point for it. If you’re constantly comparing yourself with others, you’re never going to live up to those standards because you’ll keep doing it.
The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself.
Be Positive, Think Positive
You know you have a majority of negative thoughts daily and you worked on not caring what others think of you but you have to think positive to be positive. Instead of thinking of the worst case scenario or having self-doubt, start thinking for the best case so you’ll focus on the ultimate prize in success, rather than failure.
Most people look at the glass half empty but working on looking at the glass half full is a good start. If you think positive, it’ll translate into a more positive life and outlook of it.
Remember, we all have natural negativity bias to keep us safe from threats but you shouldn’t let that control you. That negativity will eat away at your confidence.
Face Your Fears
When you’re in control, you don’t feel afraid, right? When we have that comfort, things don’t seem as scary as you probably thought they were.
Now when we don’t feel like we’re in control, the emotional side of our brain takes over. Things start to become random and irrational because it’s the emotions kicking in. But if you take steps to facing those fears and conquering them, it will let you know things aren’t as bad as they originally seemed.
Think of your worst fear and take steps towards facing it. The more you control it, the more you won’t be afraid of it. The more you aren’t afraid, the more confidence you’ll have.
Confidence starts within yourself. If you love yourself, that’s one of the biggest starting points of knowing you’re on the right path to confidence.
If you don’t love yourself, who will? There are many ways to love yourself but to start, try practicing the kind of love you aspire to receive. Give yourself compliments (and mean it), forgive, move forward, work on bettering yourself every day, etc.
Learn To Say “No”
You can’t please everyone so don’t. Learn to say “no” if you don’t feel comfortable in a particular situation or if something is going to affect you in a negative way.
Remember, you don’t care what others think so saying “no” shouldn’t be that hard. Be true to yourself and don’t feel guilty if not wanting to do something.
Keep Good People Around, Get Rid Of The Bad
They say your outlook, whether negative or positive, will be somewhere around the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If the people you surround yourself with are negative, more than likely that will rub off on you.
Now if you keep positive people around you that will help lift you up and be a good support group then it’ll help you keep that positive mentality.
Like I mentioned, “be positive, think positive”.
Get rid of the negative people in your life. If they’re not bringing some positive aspect to your life, then they probably shouldn’t be in it.
Confidence is contagious, so is lack of confidence. Which one do you want to surround yourself with?
Remember, there’s a difference between confidence and cockiness. Make sure you know the difference because that’s what’s going to separate you from being a confident person and an arrogant ass.
In case you need some more motivation, here are some Self-Confidence Quotes to help get you going.