How To Be More Likeable (11 Ways To Be Likeable)
Being likeable isn’t something you’re born with, although it seems there may be that misconception for it. Yes, there are a lot of people that seem to be naturally likeable but trust me, it was fully under their control to work at it. So it’s fully under your control to work at it too!
Being likeable has nothing to do with being intelligent or attractive but more about being sincere, transparent and having the capacity for understanding. Of course, you’ll need to have some social skills to engage with people for them to realize how likeable you actually are.
Practice makes perfect. If you’re not around people or aren’t very social, one of the first things you should do is go out there and mingle. If you aren’t social, I’m sure it’s very uncomfortable in the beginning but the more you socialize, the more comfortable you’ll get.
With that said, here are ways to work on how to be more likeable.
1. Be Genuine
This is probably one of the most important parts of being likeable because when you’re genuine, people know you’ll be real with them in a nice and honest way. Genuine people often make others feel comfortable enough that they can trust them. I mean, no one likes a fake and most people can tell when someone isn’t being real with them.
2. Use Positive Body Language
Positive body language can make such a big difference during a conversation. Maintaining good eye contact, facial expressions showing you’re engaged, nodding in agreement, positive tone of voice and leaning towards who you’re speaking with are all positive body language that will draw people to you.
No one likes to talk to someone who doesn’t seem as though they’re paying attention, constantly looking away, has their arms crossed and are always checking their phones.
3. Pay Attention (And Ask Questions)
There are people that listen to reply and then there are those who listen to understand. If you’re listening to reply, often times you’re so focused on what you’re going to say next or what they are saying and how it’s going to affect you that you miss hearing what is actually being said.
The words may be coming in loud and clear but you may be missing the actual message that is being said. So pay attention.
What you should do is try to act as if the person you are speaking to is the most important person in the world. If you’re in a room full of people, imagine no one else is there. Engage with what they are saying by asking questions. It can be something as simple as asking them to clarify what they were saying.
People like when they’re able to talk to someone that actually listens, pays attention and can carry a conversation. Work on being that someone.
4. Be Positive
There are people who choose to see the glass half full and people who choose to see the glass half empty. There are people who have a positive outlook on life even if it hasn’t been easy, while at the same time, there are people who can see the negative in the most positive situations.
Which one would you rather be around? Someone who is positive, encourages you and makes you feel good or someone that always complains and brings down that positive vibe?
Likeable people are often positive because that vibe spreads to their surroundings and people want that around them.
5. Don’t Judge (Keep An Open Mind)
Likeable people are often open minded because those that judge already have an opinion, so as I mentioned earlier, they’re not willing to listen to understand, they’re listening to reply.
Now this doesn’t mean you are required to believe what they believe in or you approve of their thoughts and behavior, but keeping an open mind while not judging makes you approachable and interesting to others.
I could have put this under the “positive body language” but I wanted to emphasize how smiling goes such a long way of making people feel good. At the same time, people naturally mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you smile, more than likely they are going to smile as well.
Plus, if you don’t smile and have a serious face all the time, people will feel intimidated and not want to talk to you; which means you’re not approachable for them to get to see if you’re likeable or not.
7. Maintain Your Composure (And Staying Consistent)
I used to have a boss that was very sporadic with their mood. On one day they could be awesome but on other days they could be really disgruntle and moody. If you’re all over the place with your mood and let emotions take over, people will second guess wanting to approach you. They want to know that you’re reliable and won’t snap at any given moment.
Also, having patience is a good part of maintaining good composure.
8. Compliment And Praise Others Genuinely
Who doesn’t like getting a genuine compliment from someone? It can be something small by noticing they’re wearing something new and letting them know it looks nice on them (another example of “Pay Attention“) or praising them for doing a good job on work or the way they handled a certain situation.
The goal is to praise them in a genuine way without being excessive.
9. Leave A Good Strong First Impression
What they say about first impressions are typically true; first impressions can be nearly impossible to reverse so if you make a bad one then more than likely it’s over with that person.
On top of that, they also say people decide whether or not they like you within seconds of meeting you. Then they spend the rest of the conversation trying to justify that initial reaction.
So knowing that, use some of the points already mentioned to make that good first impression. Use positive body language with a upright posture, firm handshake and make sure you’re smiling.
10. Remember And Greet People By Their Names
Did you know research shows that people feel validated when you use their names during a conversation? Yes, that’s another good way of making a strong first impression but it also works with people you’ve known for a long time too.
I remember at an old job, I went to a company holiday party and the vice president was there and she knew my name and exactly who I was. In case you were wondering, yes, she was very likeable by just about everyone.
If you’re like me and you’re only good with faces, it’s a good brain exercise to repeat their name a few times throughout your conversation when first meeting them. If you happen to forget, don’t be scared to ask for it again. That shows you’re trying to remember it.
11. Don’t Seek Attention
People can tell when you’re not being genuine and also when you’re actively trying to get the attention on you. Did you know people frown on that?
Now I’m not saying to go stand in the corner and be an extrovert but being friendly, confident and considerate will show people you’re likeable rather than trying to persuade everyone that you’re the life of the party.
Just think about it like this, a comedian doesn’t have to tell people they’re funny, people will see it. A confident person doesn’t have to tell people they’re strong, people will see it. A likeable person won’t have to tell people they’re likeable, people will see it.
If you work on all these points, it’ll help you become more likeable.
Remember, it takes time and effort to work on it but once you get there, you’ll start to notice your life becoming that much better!